amazes me how many athletes call me to discuss Sports Hypnosis and the conversation starts off with, “Coach, my problem
is.” Or “Coach, I have a problem!”
It doesn’t matter whether it's for golf, tennis, hockey, football, baseball, basketball,
soccer, body building, MMA or any other sport, they seem to all start off with the same first few words.
Before we even get into a discussion about what the problem is they’re calling about,
I interrupt. And if you call, I’ll do the same with you!
Not because I’m being rude, but the Coaching / Sports Hypnosis
starts during the initial contact, usually within the first 2 – 3 minutes, if not sooner.
Here’s how the conversati.on continues:
Coach – “YOUR problem?” I ask with an incredulous tone of voice.
Athlete – Usually says something like “What? Uh yeah,
my problem is.”
-- Before they get out another word, I interrupt again, “I don’t understand. Why would you be telling me about
something you want to keep? I thought you were calling for Sports Hypnosis and wanted some help from me”
A little bewildered, “Keep? No, I don’t want to keep it. And I was calling you for Sports Hypnosis so you could
help me get rid of my problem.”
– “Now, you just called the problem ‘it’, and then you said ‘my’ again. I’m confused.
Is the problem an ‘it’, or does it belong to you?”
Athlete – Usually there’s a hesitation and then “What
do you mean?”
Coach – “Well, when you say MY, you’re saying something belongs to you. And if it belongs
to you, you can sell it on Ebay or in a garage sale. Do you think anyone else would want to buy it? And if something
belongs to you, your SubConscious Mind wants to keep it and get more of it. Do you WANT to KEEP and get MORE of this problem?”
Athlete – “Uh, no, that’s why I’m calling
you. I want to get rid of it.”
Coach – “OK, that I can help you do. The first step
is to change your words from MY to THE problem. By calling it THE, you’re now pushing it away from you.
Coach -- “When you take out the garbage, do you say ‘I’m
taking out MY garbage’, or do you say ‘I’m taking out THE garbage?’ I’m going to guess since
you don’t want to keep THE garbage, that’s why you’re taking it out and you say THE instead of MY garbage”
“Always be on the lookout for
to turn a problem into an opportunity
Always be on the
lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”
Coach – “This is just an example of how I help people with Sports Hypnosis – making them aware
of how words can make a difference. Does this make sense?”
Athlete – the idea is beginning
to make sense. “OK, I’m beginning to see the difference. But why is it so important?”
Coach – I really like it when the athlete begins to understand and then follows up with
a question like this. “Because claiming it as your OWN, even when you don’t want it is going to SABOTAGE any efforts
you’re making. Pushing it away, by no longer identifying it as YOURS, is now going to help you GET RID OF IT.”
This is usually how the conversation goes, and then we get further into discussing THE problem they called
"Leaders think and
talk about the solutions.
Followers think and talk about the problems."
When they come in to my office here in the Dallas / Fort Worth area to start their Sports Hypnosis program,
they’re already getting on the right track and then we make real progress by teaching more tools – many of them
as simple as the one I just described.
Before I finish this, let’s address another aspect of the “MY / THE” concept. ...It’s the same thing when an athlete says “I HAVE a problem”.
should be changed to “I’m aggravated or annoyed by . . . . ”
or they could say
“I am experiencing a problem.”
Either way is pushing the problem away so that a solution can be
When you HAVE something, it’s still claiming ownership. When
you’re aggravated or annoyed by, you’re much more likely to do everything you can to rid yourself of it.
let’s look again at the “MY” and “I have”. In the above examples, you can see that claiming
ownership of something you don’t want can be self defeating, but what about something you DO want?
it’s something good, then claim it! It is good to say “My confidence, focus, intelligence, talent,
skill, abilities, good looks, sense of humor, family.” When you follow the word “MY” with something
good, now you’re communicating with your SubConscious Mind to keep it and get more. And everyone who has ever
come into my office has always been glad to get – and keep – more Confidence!
the “I have”? Apply it the same way. “I HAVE Confidence!”, “I HAVE Focus!”
Isn’t it amazing how some
very simple little words can hold us back or move us forward. Let me know how you’ve used this to improve your